Time. 

Purloin everything I love from me 

denies no one 

thought it was mine had no hindsight for what's to come I lie to me 

My home, so ours so loved.  

she kept me close to her well kempt side 

Her beauty towered over me, every fiber of my being yearning to be like her 

my growing cadaver could only hope to compare 

My nana 

My compassion 

Never without ruby beet nails and dark eyeliner with hair always neatly brushed 

 Smooth ice cream skin with a glossy saxophone voice  

Ears as deep as the ocean 

 memory of an elephant she always told my mom everything I said and did when she came to pick me up.  

Were you struggling then? 

The ones to which I am next of kin pale in comparison to your amount of tenderness 

Seatbelt checks 

pushing me along in a grocery cart as I read a book you will buy me  

I am devoured by your effortless love 

Our hearts intertwined.  

Bring your kid to work day 

Your heart bends with mine 

 and visiting your friend's house listening to you to talk for hours without end 

Were you struggling then? 

We were selfsame 

Memorizing the sound of your footsteps above me 

 on the blue carpet with the plastic mats that pricked my feet when flipped over 

Racing up the green carpeted steps when you call my name 

To anyone I had never been closer 

 

I felt the slow creeping rot 

Words clotting in my throat of how much I need you 

In my head feeling pain from memories I don’t have yet 

Countless surgery's my juvenile mind could not understand.  

You are slowly starting to forget 

Yet your smile never faltered, your kindness unwavering. 

She is my north star, my bliss 

My flesh and bones have stretched and pulled, while yours have grown frail 

I am everything I am because of all you are  

I miss 

My compassion 

I was your favorite shade of green until I turned deep red 

For so long to your sickness I was blind 

She was gone long before her body was, trapped inside her decaying mind 

I saw the signs of evacuation of oneself  

when to you your sanguine nails stopped being as profound 

or 

when I found the rubber band inside the chips instead of around 

 

Dismembered mind 

Sounds of you lying in bed repeating poppops name 

Are you trying to remember? 

Bound to hover above the steps of my room as you call down name 

Are you trying to remember? 

Memories being stolen from you 

Dementia robbing us of each other 

I let anger console me 

Where is my compassion 

I fear MY memories are being stolen 

Holding on to the glimpses of you in my mind 

Scared to go up your favorite color green steps because the 

smell of an aching cavernous body fills the halls 

The shell of who you were. 

Our home, so empty, so loved 

The blue and white striped armchairs seem to fade as you do 

The radiance of our home dimming, walls closing in 

The feathers on the wings of the glass angels strewn around the walls fall off one by one 

No tranquility 

instead 

My dripping wrath floods the house sucking the air away 

Now you don’t call my name  

Now there are no footsteps as you are grounded to the bed 

how can I repay your love? 

Legs can no longer carry your weight 

The anticipation and wait for your wake turn me to fleshwater 

To come, agonizing thursday.